BE DECENT: How Holding the Door Helped me get Free Gas and a Mutual Life Lessons Exchange
DISCLOSURE: Capital letters simply denote my writing style… I am not a fanatic of any group or person. I am the type of person who can support someone with whom I disagree on many levels, if such a person’s ultimate work will have contributed to the greater good and do more good than harm. I am as enigmatic as one can get. In one instance, I can play devil’s advocate and defend Bill Cosby and at the other I can defend Donald Trump… WHY NOT? Why follow a herd… it is boring and wrong… what if the herd is wrong. I CANNOT BE BOXED… SORRY!
So, it was around 3PM and I was entering a gas station to fuel up, and as always I held the door with a smile or a “Hello, How Is It Going?” to the person who was behind me…
But this time, I could sense it was different. This elegant and eloquent Black gentleman who was dressed in construction worker gear seemed rather more appreciative than the plethora of people for whom I have held door before…
… LOW and BEHOLD the gentleman who I recalled was 26 years of age asked me the following question: “WHO ARE YOU SIR? Are you from around here, because the warmth that you exhumed is not common around here!”
I proceeded to smile and we exchanged thoughts about COMMON DECENCY and as I was about to pay the store clerk for my gas, the young man uttered: “PLEASE ALLOW ME TO PAY FOR THIS MAN!”
Now I was the surprised one because I don’t recall having anyone ever pay gas for me before, and so now we were both impressed by each other…
We continued to walk out of the store and there I was about to find out why GOD or as he called it THE UNIVERSE had me meet him…
We proceed to talk about the following topics:
THE MEANING OF LIFE
THE RECENT LOSS OF HIS BROTHER (we found out that we both have that in common)
HIS COMPASSIONATE VIEW OF RELATIONSHIPS
HIS BELIEF THAT THE UNIVERSE WILL TAKE CARE OF IT ALL IF WE SO ALLOW
HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND
HIS DENIAL OF THIS BROTHER’S RECENT PASSING
MY ASSERTIONS ABOUT THE FACT THAT IT IS OK TO BE ANGRY, and IN DENIAL and TO NEVER ACCEPT IT IF THE DESIRE IT TO IMMORTALIZE HIS BROTHER
Here we was… having the most meaningful conversations about life in a parking lot… There was a White gentleman who might have realized that the young man was tearing up a bit when he talked about the recent death of his late Brother…
But on this day, even as a CRY-BABY, I decided to be strong for him… It was my turn to use my experience with coping with my late Brother’s and Mother’s death to help him…
RIGHT THERE I KNEW EXACTLY WHY GOD (OR THE UNIVERSE) allowed us to cross path…
Thus, as I pumped my gas… and communicated with him… he looked at me and said…
“HOW CAN YOU HELP ME COPE WITH LOSING MY BROTHER/BEST FRIEND A FEW DAYS AGO? I USED TO TALK TO HIM EVERY DAY, SIR!”
As I looked into his HONK LIKE physique, it felt unreal that he was tearing up unwillingly and I know that I had to look up to go to give this young man the best answer I had ever given to anyone about death… My own experience had specifically prepared ME to help someone JUST LIKE HIM… I FELT IT…
So, I said:
“My Brother, you’re certainly mature and wiser beyond your years… and I’m sure your upbringing, DNA and even being raised in California had a little something with that… but your HUMILITY IS REMARKABLE…
… I continued to say the following… YOU ARE GOING TO BE REALLY ANGRY AT TIMES… ANGRY EVEN AT GOD for allowing you to lose your Brother and Best Friend seemingly so prematurely… YOU WILL BE IN DENIAL FOR A LONG TIME… and HECK you many never fully SNAP OUT OF IT, because I certainly haven’t…
… HOWEVER, my Brother, even DENYING IT exhumes somewhat IMMORTALIZING the GREAT MEMORIES that you had with him… that while being ephemeral remain PRICELESS in your brain. TO BE HONEST, I never accepted by BROTHER’S DEATH… and PERHAPS you seem to be like me… UNWILLING TO SO ACCEPT… IT’s OK MY BROTHER… GO ON MOURN YET IMMORTALIZE… FIND OUT WHAT HIS LEGACY IS, and BECOME DOUBLY DRIVEN like I did after my Brother died…”
Then right there, we remembered his first assertion about GOD and the UNIVERSE… and we knew exactly WHY WE MET…
Right there, in the City of Chicago, where I have had the most memorable conversations with some of the most eclectic Black and White men/women in the World, I met a 26-year old Black man that not only exchanged life lessons with me, but also impressed me more than any intellectuals that I have ever met!
MORAL OF THE STORY
Never discriminate based on RACE or AGE (never promote RACISM or AGISM), and if I did, it would have been to both my detriment and his… When we try to hurt one person, we end up depriving ourselves of what the UNIVERSE reserved for us via that person and vice versa. BE KIND TO OTHERS... WHILE I HAVE SEEN PEOPLE OF ALL RACES DISPLAY ACTS OF KINDNESS, I wanted to remind people that, while we need less conditioned Black men out there, and more Black men like this young men, there are many young Black men out there that care about everyone and do care about their fellow Black brothers... I saw the respect he displayed to an OLDER WHITE MAN that was asking him questions about his HAT... his approach was cool, respectful, interesting and positive.
I, personally, have a Black BIG BROTHER named Doug Jackson who has provided me with so much love and support over the years and has encouraged me, and even gave me a job at one of the Fox subsidiaries (which is how we met)... BLACK BROTHERLY LOVE EXISTS and must be promoted... enough of the GANGSTA and THUG-LIFE stuff... Only LOVE can save our Black and Brown communities.
IN A RUSH!
Dr. Pete Lorins is the Chief Editor of LoringPOST.com. This article was sponsored by LORINS.biz